Late Night Books

I can’t remember the last time that I was so into a book that I stayed up all night reading it. I had a lot of work to do last night, I had a syllabus to write and a course to finish putting together, but the temptation for a fun read was just too great last night.

In high school and college, I was just like a plethora of other teens and kept, religiously, a LiveJournal. I loved it. It opened up to me an entire world where I was able to “meet” people from all over the world and read about their lives. In fact, I met many writers, artists and other creative through LJ. I loved that community.

Of one of the people that I “met,” was New Orleans based author, Poppy Z. Brite. I fell in love. I loved her books and her wit. I was very sad when she stopped updating her blog.

Some years later, she began to update again and I once again was reminded of why I loved her writing as much as I did. She had since begun to identify as a he, officially, even though so much of his writing had been about his gender dysphoria. He was also creating really cool art and had retired from publishing. Recently, he started posting dibs books, which are books from his personal collection that he signs and ships out. I was lucky and grabbed two, one of which is the extremely dark Exquisite Corpse.

I had read the first 100 pages in an hour, I had forgotten how dark and immersive the book was. I stayed up until nearly 2am laying on my couch reading a book that I wanted to read. It was amazing! I haven’t been able to read a book for fun since Phil and I went to Wildwood for a long weekend last year. I’ve just been so busy with my teaching courses and with my PhD that hobbies have sort of fallen to the side. I plan to finish it tonight and move onto the stack of books that I have sitting in the shelf of my headboard.

I really need to start making some more time for myself.

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Molly Bags

Back in the tumult of my 20’s, I remember looking at happy couples and thinking, how do those people get like that? How, in this crazy world do you possibly find someone that compliments you so completely that it almost becomes like you exist in your own world with them? It really was something that was so foreign to me. In my 20’s, my relationships were often drama-fueled and with men that I never felt comfortable with. They didn’t get me and largely, I didn’t get them. I actually really hated dating and I went through large spans of time where I just didn’t.

I met Phil 3 years ago on a blind date, and pretty much ever since, we have been together. It was almost like that date was only a formality too as we had been talking continuously for days before we actually met. It was an effortless click.

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Since then, we have become the sort of people I used to people watch in my 20’s. The sort of couples that would move around the world in their own time, in sync with one another. I hadn’t realized that we had in fact become those people over time.

It started out innocently enough. We came up with silly names for one another, and then pretty soon, names for other things. Before we realized it, there was the voice. Do you the voice? If you don’t, I firmly believe you have not found the right person yet. What is the voice? It is quite simply, the voice you use only with your person. It’s probably softer, more high-pitched and your person will usually respond back to you in the same voice. It’s the beginning of the language used only between the two of you.

From there you begin to name other things. Of course, these things already have common names like phone, remote, bag, etc. However, the two of you will begin to rename them and again, these things will only really make sense in the world that you are currently in.

For us, I realized we had reached this point when Phil had come home from his mom’s house. He was so excited, she had given him all of these plastic shopping bags. Now, in our house these are all “Molly Bags.” So, when she had given them to him, he exclaimed something like, “Oh thank god, there are SO MANY Molly bags now,” without so much as a thought as to the fact that his mom would have no idea what a Molly Bag was. I imagine there followed the confused face from his mom along with a “what the heck are you talking about?” Phil then explaining that we call them Molly Bags because we use them to pick up her giant poops when we walk her.

I would put money on the fact, that now, whenever Phil’s mom sees plastic shopping bags, MOLLY BAGS will forever be popping into her head. Phil was a little embarrassed after this exchange, when he came home, he told me “I forgot. I was just so excited that we have so many know! I forgot that not everyone speaks us. My mom probably thinks we’re nuts now.”

I smiled to myself, I think everyone should speak “us.”

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273

In just 273 days, I’m going to be getting married. This sound so crazy to me. As much as I wanted to get married and have a family, there has always been such a large part of me that felt it was never going to happen. Yet, here we are planning a fairly small wedding at the most beautiful, artsy French-style venue I could find in New Jersey. It’s going to be so beautiful.

I’ll have just turned 31 when we walk down the aisle. I will have one full year under my belt of this totally new decade in my life. How crazy is that?

I remember thinking that 30 was just so old and so far off, but then it sneaked up on me and suddenly, I was 30. I remember my 28th birthday, we were just outside of Monaco, on our way to Florence. We had just left the Beaujolais where we stayed in a very haunted Chateau. It was the most amazing birthday that year. We had only been together for about seven months when we went on that month long adventure across 20-something countries. By the end, I knew that this was who I was going to marry.

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That was the capstone to one of the more turbulent decades of my life. My teens weren’t that much better, but that had revolved around drama created by people with me stuck in the middle. The chaos of my 20’s were mostly self-made and structured around poor decisions, bad advice and listening to other people instead of following what I really wanted to do.

That same year I moved an hour away from home. I also bought my house that year too. I became the newest resident to the Jersey shore and then the new decade began. So far, it’s been a much more calmer decade. I don’t feel the constant emotional upheaval that drove most of my 20’s and early teens. I feel more in control and I think the most important thing I have learned so far is that it is not only totally okay to say “no,” but there comes times where you simply just have to. That took a very long time for me to learn.

And now in just 273 days, I’ll be walking down the aisle to the man I have shared the last 3 years with. A house, two dogs, three cats, countless adventures, Disney World, Europe– so much in such a short time and yet, so much more yet to come.

All in just 273 days.

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Thank You for Leaving Me

I forgot to share with you that a few months ago I published again with Thought Catalog. I think getting engaged has made me soft these days and the emotions over the past couple of months have been strange and weird! Has this happened to anyone else?

I think I have cried, like really cried during any emotional movie I have watched. Everything seems to affect me lately, it’s so strange. It also made me go into my box of journals and unearth some gems from over the years. I got very wrapped up into the transient period of my life from 2008-2010 where I was teaching, but it wasn’t the dream yet. Where I was between New York and art and New Jersey and everything else. I was also in the midst of the fall out of the end of my first really big love. This was also when I wrote the first draft of An August Morning.

Anyway. It’s strange now to look back at that period of my life and no longer feel the same way about it. I wrote this free form thinking piece: Thank You for Leaving Me.

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Sneak Peek: An August Morning

Here is just a little sneak peek of what I am currently working on. I am in heavy re-editing mode and am expecting a spring, but more possibly summer release:

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Olivia Cardin has been living her fantasy—she spends her days making art and her nights with her dreamy boyfriend, Jack, who just may very well be the love of her life. For her, everything is perfect until one August morning when Jack tells her that he just doesn’t love her anymore. Devastated, Olivia turns to her best friend Amy for comfort as she feels her new reality crashing down around her. Amy is quick to get her to her father’s ranch in Texas where Olivia will have the space she needs to recover. Only, Olivia is surprised to find out that though Jack has left her, he did leave her with a surprise gift of his own. Now, Olivia must come to terms with becoming the mother she never knew she would be, while mending her own broken heart as she builds a friendship with the shy, creative man named Keith who seems to have a stronger bond to Amy’s family than anyone is willing to admit. Can Olivia let go of her shattered fantasy and maybe even fall into true love for the first time?

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January Rain

I just want to say thank you to those who have bought the book, it has been amazing to see. As an indie author, I do a lot of the work myself so it’s a very indescribable feeling seeing my work getting out there and people outside of my own circle becoming part of it.

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January Rain is available for purchase through various book retailers including Amazon and the Barnes and Noble website.

Should you pick up a copy and read it, I would be extremely grateful if you could review it as well.

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Coming January 22, 2016

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In these last ten years in Boston, Lorelei Winston has achieved everything she ever wanted, and has finally left the past behind. With a fabulous apartment, a well-known fiancé, and a successful art career, the last thing on her mind is a return to her hometown. Then comes the phone call that changes everything. Lorelei’s childhood friend, Cole, has killed himself, and his family asks her to return for his funeral. As Lorelei makes her way to New Jersey, Cole begins to appear to her, describing the last decade of his life. Is it all in her mind? Or is it something supernatural– and perhaps even sinister?

Will be available in bookstores and online. I’ll be posting a link to Amazon and B&N when it goes live!

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Elite Daily

I signed my contract last week to begin writing for Elite Daily! This was a huge deal for me as I have read that website for awhile. I also completed my thesis and all my coursework for my masters program at SNHU. I officially have my masters! This year has been such a journey, but it has been wonderful.

– Kate

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