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The Widowhood │ After the Fall-Out
The kids are in the other room playing with the barbie house and the dominos that they got for their birthdays. Life has been very quiet for the past several weeks. I’ve pushed myself to face things that I struggled with before. I finally rehomed the dogs I struggled with since Phil died. I’ve deep…
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The Widowhood │ John
I become restless waiting for John to get to my house. I begin to nervously reclean the house that I had just spent the last couple of days going over. When I run out of the things to wipe down, I decide to sit outside on my front steps. I am thinking that the fresh…
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The Widowhood │ Preparing for Manhattan
A little under two months into our late-night phone conversations and messaging, John asks me to go and see a Broadway play with him. Out of all the worldly and cultured things I have done in my life and in my traveling, I somehow missed the Broadway play side of things. It would be my…
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The Widowhood │ Daisy
John and I begin to message back and forth quickly. We start talking a lot of small talk about what we like and things that we do. It isn’t forced and it is not all the time, some days we do not message at all, but there is consistency in our exchanges. I find myself…
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The Widowhood │ E-harmony
I cannot get over the cost of e-harmony, it is blowing my mind. For whatever reason, maybe it’s the loneliness or the desire that has begun to grow within me about being with someone again, but whatever it is, I find myself sitting in the darkness of my living room completing the personality profile. I…
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THE WIDOWHOOD │ A MIXED MARRIAGE
The things I loved about Phil were the opposite of the things that I hated about Phil. I loved that he was creative and smart. I loved that he was a romantic and would do things like buying me a gold rose for special things and anniversaries so that in the end I would always…
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The Widowhood │The First Christmas
By the time the first Christmas is coming, my entire life has become upheaved from the summertime. I went back to work at a new job, I was a single mother and not much of my life made sense anymore. I knew though that if I just kept going that my kids would be okay…
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The Widowhood │When the After Isn’t Forever Either
I follow a lot of young widows on social media. In the early days, it was how I got through the hard stuff. I would watch them and think that God has a plan for me and the kids and that in the end, we were going to be happy again. I did not have…
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The Widowhood │Clarity
I think one of the things that no one understands until they themselves live through a totally traumatic experience is that there is a fog that settles over you. It’s almost like when you are small and jump into a pool and open your eyes. All of your senses are present, but everything else is…
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The Widowhood │ Six Months In…
Life comes at you pretty quickly. I thought that I had mine figured out for the moment…I had the house I wanted to grow old in with the husband I wanted to grow old with and three amazing kids. I was getting up for a wine festival…my first thing to do kid free in years…
