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The Widowhood │Sometimes You Get Things Back
One of the things I had to give up when my husband died was the publishing contract that I had on my middle grade/high school fantasy novel that I had worked so hard on and was so excited to see coming to print. It was a gutting decision, but one that I ha to make…
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The Widowhood │ On the Eve of My 40th Birthday Weekend
I remember the days leading up to my 30th birthday. I had just gotten home from Chicago, having attained topic approval for my dissertation for my PhD. I was living with Phil at the shore and for the most part, life was pretty together, but I was totally freaked out about that milestone birthday. I…
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The Widowhood │ The First Days Back
I had my first contact day with students today. It felt like slipping into an old glove. For the first time in years, my professional life felt good and like I was where I belonged. It made sense. I stood up in front of over 100 kids today and began setting up what my classroom…
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The Widowhood │ The Hand of God
By the time that Violet was born, I was losing my mind at the idea of having to go back to my job in the Capital City. I wanted to be home with my kids or at least able to be more present for them. However, I never seemed to be able to get…
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The Widowhood │ The Magic of New Beginnings
Logan’s last year of pre-school was a difficult one. Everyday at the end of the day if I wasn’t there to pick him up, he would sob. It didn’t matter that Phil was still alive at this time and would be the one getting him, no, Logan needed his mom. Sometimes I would be able…
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The Widowhood │ The Morning After
“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back.…
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The Widowhood │I Wanted to Ask You Something
August has been a very slow month for me overall, but I have been enjoying precious time with my kids and going on adventures together, creating memories that I will cherish forever. We’ve explored nearby parks, visited the beach, and even tried our hand at baking some fun treats in the kitchen. I am looking…
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The Widowhood │ A Sperm Donor
After John left, I had the pretty stark realization that when he left, he also took a year and a half of my life with him which now put me just shy of 40 and further away from my late thirties. It made me sad in ways all over again because when I had made…
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The Widowhood │ Sure, What’s My Dating Handle Going to Be?
One of the things that I like about my job is that one of my co-workers is in her middle-20’s, without kids and is actively dating and trying to meet someone. She keeps it real with me and I appreciate it because while I am not actively dating, she keeps me thinking about it and…
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The Widowhood │ Manhattan
John and I aren’t in the part of our relationship where he knows about my life in my early 20’s. He doesn’t know about my love for the city or the life I was set to have there at that point in my life. Back then, I was a senior at Rutgers University and I…
