The Widowhood │ The Morning After 

“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.” – Sex and the City 

When I wake up, it’s to the sound of my buzzing phone. I open my eyes to see the brightness of the Manhattan skyline and John is still next to me. Did I really sleep through the night? I reach for my phone and see my mother had texted me five minutes before and now my brother is calling me because she wasn’t answered immediately. It’s a weird power play of my mother’s that she has done for years, even when I was married. I often wonder why my brother feeds into it, but sometimes I think he likes playing the drama game and so I pick up the phone.

“Good morning,” I say.

“Your mother had me call you because you didn’t answer her,” he says, with little reflection in his voice.

“Yeah, I am just waking up. I’m sorry I missed a text from…six minutes ago. I’ll be there for the kids this afternoon as discussed.”

“Kay, I’ll let her know.”

He hangs up.

“Everything okay, mama,” John asks with sleepy huskiness.

“Yeah, my mom can just make things difficult when they don’t have to be. My kids are fine,” I put my phone back on the nightstand and roll over to face him. “Thank you for last night, that was a really nice first date.”

He smiles at me, his warm sleepy smile. “You’re welcome, it was a really nice first date.”

“You know, I did notice something though,” I say flirtatiously.

“Oh? What have you noticed?”

“You haven’t kissed me yet.”

He smiles at me again, this time his coy smile. “I was trying to last night. I wanted to go back down to the bar, but you were exhausted at that point.”

“That would have been very romantic underneath the little lights,” I say, smiling more than I should have.

“Yes, I thought so too, but maybe this morning I’ll be more like Julia Roberts.”

I laugh, picking up on the Pretty Woman reference. “Well, I guess you are, lured up to a hotel room to sleep without a goodnight kiss,” I say, our faces coming closer together.

And then, he kisses me. It is a kiss that is warm and tender that brings with it an overwhelming sense of peace. It is my favorite first kiss. We separate again and he holds my gaze for a moment before he says, “Happy Mother’s Day, Daisy. Are you hungry?”

“Yes, I am,” I say, trying to break up the feelings of hunger and the feelings of excitement and butterflies.

He hands me the room service menu. “We also have the wine that we didn’t have last night.”

I laugh. “Well, it is Mother’s Day!”

He chuckles and pours a glass of wine for me and orders room service. For a little bit, I sit in bed sipping wine on my first Mother’s Day as a widow and watch the busyness of Manhattan outside the window. John is moving around the room getting ready to start packing up. I would later realize that he tends to focus on tasks when he gets nervous about things. I think it centers him.

“Are you busy next weekend? Would you like to come over and meet my children maybe,” I throw out, not as eloquently as I had hoped.

He stops what he is doing and looks at me. “Yes, I would like that.”

I smile. “I don’t really see a way of continuing this without involving them,” I admit.

“So, what then? A lot of Netflix and chill,” he half jokes.

I laugh. “Well big dates like this are really nice every once in awhile, but I do not expect them to be a regular thing so yes, a lot of that Netflix and chill kind of dating.”

“I can’t argue with that, I may save a small fortune.” He laughs. “I’m kidding and yes big dates are nice every once in awhile.”

John goes back to packing and then my food arrives. He excuses himself to shower and I can hear him signing to himself. It is a habit of his that I will come to love because when I hear him singing, I know he’s feeling peaceful which puts me at ease and makes me feel at home. I begin to gather my things and get myself ready before it’s my turn to change.

It seems very fast but then suddenly we are checked out and back out on the street. John steps away to have a cigarette and I suddenly ask him for one. It is an old habit from art school that Phil made me quit when we were first dating because he refused to date a smoker, but suddenly in that moment, I wanted one and I wanted to stand there with John smoking. And so we did.

As we leaned against the cool brick wall of the hotel, the bustling energy of Manhattan instantly surrounded us—the honking taxis, the rush of pedestrians on the sidewalks, and that ever-present hum of life in the city. In this moment, it felt like we were in our own little bubble, a tiny retreat from the chaos outside. I took a slow drag from the cigarette, letting the smoke curl into the air, and watched as John took his first puff, a knowing smile crossing his lips.

“You know, it’s silly, but I kind of missed this,” I admitted, glancing over at him. “Not the smoking part necessarily, but the… sharing a moment like this.”

He nodded, his gaze thoughtful. “I get that. Sometimes it’s the simplest things that make us feel connected.”

“And here we are,” I joked lightly, “sharing a smoke while the city wakes up.”

He laughed softly and then took another drag, exhaling slowly. “Exactly. Just two people trying to navigate their way through.”

As we continued to smoke, I felt the connection between us growing, solidifying in the shared silence and glances. I couldn’t help but think about how quickly we had gone from strangers to something more; a hint of excitement coursed through me. “This weekend has been an unexpected journey,” I mused aloud.

“Every good story has its surprises,” he replied, brushing his hand over his head while he watched the crowd. “What do you think this is shaping up to be?”

“I’m not sure yet,” I said, taking a final drag before letting the smoke drift away. “But I’m definitely curious to see where it goes.”

“Me too,” he smiled, the sincerity in his eyes making my heart flutter. We flicked our cigarettes away, and as we stepped back onto the bustling street, I felt a sense of liberation. It felt as if we had both shed a layer of our pasts, ready to embrace whatever was coming next. “Let’s go grab you that coffee,” he suggested, and I nodded eagerly, ready for the next chapter of this unexpected story.

The Widowhood │ After the Fall-Out

The kids are in the other room playing with the barbie house and the dominos that they got for their birthdays. Life has been very quiet for the past several weeks. I’ve pushed myself to face things that I struggled with before. I finally rehomed the dogs I struggled with since Phil died. I’ve deep cleaned the entire house to be dog free. I am surprised about how the kids don’t even miss them, something I was also so scared about because after Phil died, the way I survived everyday was to just keep moving forward, showing up for the kids and making sure their lives stayed as close to the same as it possibly could without their dad, pain in the ass dogs included. John and I haven’t spoken in weeks, not since a handful of small talk text messages after the tearful night in my driveway. 

        I’ve just come in from my garden that I like to call my secret garden. I’ve been spending a lot of time there, making changes and getting it ready for the fall season. It’s my quiet space away from all of the noise in my head and my new ability to cry at the simplest things lately. I feel like all that I have done since the fall out is just cry. Lindsay calls me to check in. 

        “I was just calling to see how you were doing,” comes her bubbly response once I pick up. 

        “Today is not so bad. A couple of days ago, it was pretty bad, but today I have only cried a couple of times,” I laugh at myself, for someone who was once very anti-sharing-of-feelings, this was certainly a new era for me. My feelings are constantly all over my face and out of my face. 

        “You just have to remember that everything happens for a reason and that it’s probably because he wasn’t right for your family. You need someone who is going to make a commitment to you and to those kids, not just shut down and hurt you because you asked about what your future was. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

        “I know, but that was the weird thing about it all. This all started because I asked him about the future and if he had ever thought about us living together. It was a future that we had sat talking about very openly in my kitchen when we had just started dating, I mean down to whose name everyone gets.”

        “Back then, it was just talking about a potential and by asking you made it real and you got your answer.”

        I nod, choking back a new wave of tears. “You probably didn’t hear my nod,” I say with an awkward tear-filled laugh. “And then he just changed and he was accusing me of all kinds of things I never said or did, including how I was giving him an ultimatum–it was like he was talking to someone else entirely. The ghost of something big and heavy that pre-dates me.”

        “And I think that is his issue and why he has never been married and probably won’t ever be. Hurt people hurt people and as nice as he was to you when there was no expectation, someone did a number on him a long time ago and it’s not up to you to fix him or give up on what you want out of a relationship. I mean you guys half-assed lived together for over a year and because you asked about living together officially and re-stated that you did want to get married and have another baby eventually, that’s what is going to get you here? That’s an ultimatum? That is not at all fair to you. When is it not about him?”

        “I know, Linds. He just really hurt me. I had to get over all of that stuff I went through with Phil and I prayed so hard that I would meet someone again that I could trust and it just really fucking hurts to be here. I feel like I opened up my whole life and self to him, but he never did the same and then just threw us away in the trash.”

        “And it’s going to be that way for a while, but look at it this way. At least you’re not quoting Dickens to me and making jokes about sitting in your wedding dress and eating cake anymore?”

        I laugh, a real laugh. “I guess we can call that growth. I am past the grieving scorned widow and am now dumped girlfriend who has three kids, a new job on the horizon and is somehow still writing.”

        “You are one of my best friends. You are smart, brave and kind. You’re one of the most honest and strongest women that I know and you’re a really good mom, look how far those kids have come. Phil and John aren’t an end to your story, you’re going to meet someone who wants a life with you and this time, it will be the right person who loves you completely and is proud to show you and even the kids off to the world.”

        “I love you too, but I think that maybe this is God’s way of telling me that I am meant to be alone.” I start choking on tears again.”I mean just a month ago I was so excited about my new job and getting my summers back so I had more time with the kids and better hours which meant less relying on my family to watch the kids all the time which then meant they would probably agree to watch the kids for me to do fun things like actually getting to go out with John and now look at my life. This was supposed to be the new chapter for me and the trio.”

        “I don’t think so and it still is a new chapter. I really do think you’re going to get married again and you’re going to have that last baby and this time, that man is going to be faithful to you and be the love of your life because that is all that you deserve. It’s just not John. And even if I’m wrong and you are alone for the rest of your life, I know you’re going to rock that too. You’re on your upswing, just think about that new job and how all of that came to be!”

Lindsay was right. The writing on the wall had come to my old job earlier in the spring and I was in a full-on panic mode because with the change in hours I wouldn’t be able to get my kids from school and then the funding for the job itself was also questionable as things in the state were changing. It was a terrifying several months before two jobs came knocking, one because the administrator who saw my application knew my reputation from my years in Trenton and immediately contacted me and the other found me on the internet and called me for a same day interview. I was ultimately offered both positions, but I took the latter for a better salary and a commute and also for the fact that it meant I was teaching seniors and college-level courses. I had to give up my college teaching after Phil died because I did not have the childcare to cover it and that was one of the personal things I had to give up that absolutely devastated me because when I am in a college classroom and I am lecturing, it is the place I feel the most like myself. It was something so hard to let go of, even though I knew that it was in the best interest for my children, but then again, here the universe was bringing it back to me at a time where I felt as if my life was once again in pieces. So, maybe I just needed to roll with what life was giving me and trust in the greater good, as hard as that is especially when your heart has been broken again. 

I draw in a breath so that I will hopefully stop sniffling. “Well, I would just like to remind you of the fact that when he and I first started dating and I sent you that picture of us, how you exclaimed how you had such a good feeling about him and my future,” I add, not wanting her to have a full win. 

“Ya got me, I was wrong about that…well maybe. It wasn’t all bad was it? I mean he did nice things for you and the kids and he cleaned out your life of all of Phil’s friends and made you face things you were really struggling with like the dogs. And you fell in love with him so at least that showed you that you do have the ability to love someone after your husband and to want a life with someone again. In many ways you’re set up for a totally fresh start and again one that I believe does lead you to the man that is meant for you. In the meantime, focus on yourself and the kids and if you’re really bored, sign up for e-harmony again.”

I snort. “That is the last thing I think that I could do.”

“Why not? Worst case is you like someone and they don’t like you back and you never have to talk to them again.”

Our conversation winds down after the e-harmony suggestion. The kids make their way into the kitchen asking for dino nuggets. Lindsay and I say our goodbyes and I thank her for her check in, even though these conversations with the people who have known me for much of my life tend to end with me in tears lately, I am still thankful for them because they break up my day and give me adult time outside of constantly being alone with small kids. As the dino nuggets are air frying, I pull up e-harmony on my phone. The moment I see its green and white logo, I feel my stomach start to hurt and a fresh set of tears well up into my eyes. “Or worst case is I get involved with someone who doesn’t want me again,” I mumble under my breath as I think to myself: not today Satan. I begin to google things I can do with the kids in the coming weekends before school starts back up again. 

By the time the trio is situated with their nuggets, we have a list of things that they want to go see and do before school starts: we are hiking, going to the ocean, possibly the aquarium and hitting up the wildlife refuge nearby. Violet is most excited about the wildlife refuge for the animals and the boys are nonstop talking about the ocean and how there are sharks in there and how they will need weapons to beat the sharks back. 

I find myself smiling at the differences between them.

The Widowhood │ Preparing for Manhattan

A little under two months into our late-night phone conversations and messaging, John asks me to go and see a Broadway play with him. Out of all the worldly and cultured things I have done in my life and in my traveling, I somehow missed the Broadway play side of things. It would be my first time going to see a Broadway show and it would be the first time in over 10 years that I would be setting foot in New York City. A fact that would probably make my younger, 20-something self shudder because as an undergraduate at Rutgers, New York City and art history were my very existence.

The big event would be falling on Mother’s Day weekend, my first Mother’s Day as a widow. I had hoped my mother would just give me that and watch the kids so that I could have a true Mother’s Day: one that was about me and the cute guy I was pretty taken with at the moment. She agreed, though I felt somewhat begrudgingly. It would be the first time that I would be without all three kids and I couldn’t wait. My entire world since Phil had died had been taking care of my kids and for a moment, I got to have a weekend where I was getting to do something that I liked.

My mother had already begun trying to be in control of and become exceedingly intrusive into the entire weekend. I learned from my younger years that the best thing to do was to give answers that were truthful but did not give all the information that she was prying for. For instance, she did not need to know I would be staying in New York City that night.

Sasha Facetimes me to show me how to turn on my location for her and for my friend Lindsey who both knew I was staying in New York City that night.

“I really like the dress,” she says as I do a little twirl in front of my phone. “What are you wearing underneath it?”

I laugh. “We decided to take things slow and this whole overnight in New York City is more about just time together and not having to rush back to New Jersey.”

“And he knows you have three kids?”

I laugh again. “Yes, and he asked me if I wanted more and yes, I told him about my desire for one more. I left it open to two more because he doesn’t have kids of his own and I don’t want to take something away from him just because I am coming in with three of my own should we get serious.”

“How did he take that? Well…I’m assuming since you’re now setting up for this big date.”

“He sent me a picture last weekend when he was out with his friends of two geese with their four gooselings,” I send her the picture.

“That’s kind of adorable. Maybe the kid thing won’t be the big deal that you think it’s going to be. Are you going to answer my question about what you’re wearing underneath it?”

I show her the new underwear that I bought specifically for the new dress I also bought.

“It looks good! It’s a shame you decided not to show it this weekend,” she added slyly.

“Oh, I can’t even really think about that. I mean it’s not like I don’t want to, but for 10 years, I have only been with Phil. And then I had three kids, it all looks and feels different now after two kids naturally and a c-section. And to share that with a man that is not their father? I mean, how do you even?” I feel my face turn about 10 different shades of red.

Sasha is laughing at my innocence over the entire thing. “I think it will come naturally when you’re both ready and if he likes you, it won’t matter that your body has had three kids and is not 20-something years old anymore.”

I sigh. “I know you’re right, but not this weekend.”

“Alright not this weekend. Can I ask how long it has been?”

I hesitate. “Well, if Violet is turning two this summer and then add being pregnant with her on top of that, I mean we are heading into three years.”

“Seriously?” She’s visibly floored.

“He was a heart patient, after the last hospitalization that side of our relationship really scared me, but we wanted to try for another kid, so we did and then after that, he scared me especially after that life vest.”

A life vest is a vest that is worn by people in heart failure. It monitors the person’s heart and should their heart stop, it will shock them back into a beating heart. It is extremely sensitive, and the slightest movement will cause the vest to misread it as if their heart has stopped, causing it to send out all kids of alarms that it is about to shock the person back. People in heart failure are also very tired most of the time, so when this would happen with Phil, it would often be at night and would wake all of us up, but not him. I would then have to wake him up quickly so that the vest wouldn’t shock us both and kill me in the process. Those were some of the longest nights after his final hospitalization because after I would have him resettled and correctly monitored, I would then be putting down one if not all the children that were also woken up by the vest.

“I had no idea. And you never, I mean not like I could blame you if you did, but you never with anyone else?”

“Nope, was never even a thought. I loved my husband and I thought he would get better, and we would become better…I better go and finish packing, he’ll be here in a couple of hours.”

“Wait…you’re letting him pick you up?”

“Yes, I asked him to. I am allowing him into the inner sanctum,” I chuckle. My house has been a sort of sanctuary for me and the kids since Phil died and to allow people outside of my immediate circle into it, is kind of a big deal for me.

“Have a great time. I will check your location periodically, though I think this is going to be good. It’s really nice to see happy Katherine again, I haven’t seen her in quite a long time.”

We end our Facetime and I return to packing. I put on the soundtrack to The Notebook, the show that we were going to be seeing that night and I let my thoughts ease up. John starts texting me first with a cute video of his friend’s kids wishing him well on his date and then songs from The Greatest Showman. And despite myself, I just melt.

Book Review│A Perfect Vintage by Chelsea Fagan

Lea Mortimer specializes in restoring French Chateaus into boutique hotels. She relishes in the fact that she is a single, untethered woman who excels at her job and works well with the often aristocratic families that she often finds herself working for.

Only this summer is shaping up to be a little different for Lea. Sure, she still has a hotel to open…on time…but she has also invited her best friend, Stephanie, who is struggling through her own divorce and her daughter to accompany her to the Loire Valley. It was her friend’s one request when she called her on a rainy day to tell her that she had, in fact finally left her husband. Only Lea wasn’t exactly ready for that one request. Their presence shakes up Lea’s sophisticated world and threatens to make her miss her mark on her hotel opening and on landing the prestigious award that was just within her grasp. Even more shocking is the romance she soon finds herself in with the son of the estate’s owner that she is working to open as a hotel.

What flows is a secret romance that Lea and her handsome love interest are struggling to keep a secret, a lot of delicious French wine and a chateau that is about to experience its own rebirth. There is nothing to not like about this fun, summertime novel– the tasteful romance, the beautiful scenery and the friendships kept me reading even when I had other responsibilities to tend to. It has been sometime since I was able to lose an afternoon to a book and not feel too guilty. Fagan transported to my own time spent in gorgeous French chateaus drinking too much Beaujolais and falling in love. It also didn’t hurt that Lea’s friend, Stephanie, was figuring out her own life in none other than Morristown, New Jersey. From one Jersey girl with a love of France to another perhaps fictional one…I was hooked.

Overall, a delightful and airy debut novel from Chelsea Fagan. I hope she sticks with this genre, I would like to read more from her.

Book Information

A Perfect Vintage by Chelsea Fagan is set to be released on June 6, 2023 from Orsay Books with ISBN 9781662938627. This review corresponds to an advanced electronic galley that was supplied by the publisher in exchange for this review.

The Hart Home│Why I Didn’t Marry Until My 30’s

I think the simplest reason why I put off marriage and even getting engaged until I was almost 30 was that I wanted to keep my 20’s for myself.

At my core, I am very artistic and I am a dreamer. I have so many dreams of what I want to do and where I want to go. I saw my 20’s as a time for me to enact those dreams before I settled down. I have said before how I have always wanted to be a wife and a mother, but I always knew that there would be a time for that and that was sometime after I had done everything I had wanted to do in my 20’s. Now, that’s not the say I didn’t want love in my 20’s, I definitely wanted to have a boyfriend that was my person, but I was nowhere near ready or in the mindset to settle down.

I wanted to travel with or without a boyfriend. I wanted to finish my education and get into a doctoral program. I wanted to live on my own with a couple cats and enjoy living on my own without roommates or a live-in boyfriend. I also wanted to buy my first house by myself. In many ways, I wanted to live my life as my own person before I became someone’s wife and someone’s mom. And your 20’s really is the absolute best time to do that because that decade of your life is such a transition time from being a college kid to a working adult with real-world responsibilities. I also wanted to know that if I had to go through life on my own, that I could do it by myself and that I was a solid, financially secure person outside of any relationship or entanglement.

I also wanted to make sure that I was with the right person when my time did come to marry. Without getting too into it here, I grew up in a marriage that was between two people that were not meant for each other and it was hard growing up in that space. And then when it finally exploded, my brother and I took the brunt of the fallout. In many ways, it was more me than my brother because I was the older one. We both have very different memories from that time in our lives.

What I took from that time in my life is that when I did have children, I wanted to make sure that they had a secure and loving relationship modeled for them so that when it became their turn to get married and start their own families, that they would know what it was supposed to be and look like. I was thankful to have found that love in my mid-20’s and that my husband got to be a part of my travels and my first time being out fully on my own and then joined me when I bought a house and together, we started a life together because, at that point, we were both ready for the next step in our lives.

In keeping my 20’s for myself, I think it made me a better wife and it definitely made me a better mother. It also gave my husband and I time to do so much stuff together. We backpacked through Europe, went to Disney World twice, got our first home together, had a lot of date nights and hangouts– we just enjoyed being together for several years. And now we’re an old married couple with a baby who spends their days watching Simple Songs of YouTube and we wouldn’t change any of it because we love having Logan and are enjoying family life.

I think everyone should wait until their 30’s or even late 20’s before they get married. Your 20’s are the best decade you’re going to have to be young, stupid and on an endless search of finding yourself. You’ll experience love and heartbreak, new jobs and opportunities and hopefully, a lot of adventure. Your 20’s are your time and I think if more people kept it like that, more people wouldn’t be getting divorced within the first few years of marriage because they will know who they truly are and what works and doesn’t work for them. You will become the most honest you have ever been when it comes to relationships and what you’re looking for. And you will be an accomplished person in your own right, outside of your marriage and your family.

And if you’re lucky you’ll meet your person and you’ll get to go home from your crazy days of responsibilities and dance to acoustic songs in your kitchen while your baby is asleep in the other room. I am excited to see where my settled self goes in this latest decade of my life and what I am writing about my 30’s when I hit my 40’s…ahhh!

dancing
From our engagement photos at Asbury Park Convention Hall. November 2016.

BOOK REVIEW │WINDOW ON THE BAY BY DEBBIE MACOMBER

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Debbie Macomber books are the kinds of books that you go back to when you want something that is comfortable and consistent. Her books are “cozy” books for me because they often are about female friendship throughout the years that span time and love and loss. Window on the Bay is no different.

Female Friendship

Window on the Bay brings us Jenna and Maureen, two women who have raised families and are at a good point in their lives and in their friendship with one another. Jenna has been divorced for 20-something years and has focused her energy on raising her children. Her ex-husband has left a bad taste in her mouth and now, even years later, she still struggles with trusting someone again. With both of her children off at college, she is also struggling with being single and being a new empty nester. Maureen has also had her share of heartache as her marriage ended early as well. Together, the two women have come together over the years and have been each other’s support systems as they figured out motherhood and raising their children without the help of their ex-husbands.

Maureen is happy for her friend and wants her to embrace her newfound independence despite Jenna’s reservations. She pushes for them to take the trip to Paris that they had planned on taking in college together when Jenna became pregnant and canceled those plans.

A Love Affair

As Jenna is finding herself again in her new life as a mom to adult children and a single woman, her mother is in need of hip surgery after she breaks it. Dr. Rowan Lancaster is there to help save her mother and soon, Jenna finds herself being drawn to the handsome surgeon, but at the same time remains extremely guarded because of her past. As handsome as Dr. Rowan is, he is also a surgeon just like her philandering ex-husband who had broken her heart so many years ago.

Jenna must find the strength within herself through her friendship with Maureen and the love she has for her children to break free of her past in order to create her future. Jenna’s children also have their own bits of drama that they come to their mother with and Jenna must find ways to manage the shocking news that they bring her without losing everything that she has newly found.

Book Information

Window on the Bay: A Novel by Debbie Macomber will be released on July 16, 2019, from Ballantine Books, an imprint of Random House Publishing with ISBN 9780399181337. This review corresponds to an advanced electronic galley that was supplied by the publisher in exchange for this review.

Book Review │ Unleashed by Diana Palmer

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I was probably a little too young when I first read a Diana Plamer book. I had to have been about 13 or 14 when I fished Magnolia out of a bag of books my grandmother had given to my mom. At that point, I had just started to write and I loved romances. I would just get lost in them and Palmer’s Magnolia did not disappoint. I fell in love with her writing and the steamy romances she whipped up with brooding, handsome men and the strong women they all always seemed to fall in love with. I went on to read all of her mercenary books and dove right into her Long, Tall Texan series of which, Unleashed is number 47 in the series.

Palmer does not disappoint us with her reserved, brooding and strong characters that she is known for. We meet Colter, a man that has been spending his time with women that he knows will never be much of anything. No woman really encapsulates him until he notices his assistant, Clancy who is battling a dark past of her own. Her brother is in jail for having hurt her in his attack on their younger brother. She is terrified that he will be released. She is also pretty smitten with Colter even though he’s not completely into her yet, as he has lingering feelings for his best friend’s former fiancee.

However, the chemistry and drama begin to burn between Colter and Clancy in a way that only Diana Palmer can deliver. The loves scenes are steamy and built with a sensuality that is exclusive to Diana Palmer novels wherein Colter is the older, experienced man while Clancy is blossoming into her own. Paralleled with the few violent scenes that are also present in the novel, Unleashed delivers to its readers a sultry read filled with drama and violence that leave you rooting for Colter and Clancy as the novel works towards its fitting end.

Unleashed (Long, Tall Texans Book 47) by Diana Palmer will be available for purchase on June 25, 2019, with ISBN 9781335659989 from Harlequin. This review corresponds to an advanced electronic galley that was provided by the publisher in exchange for this review.

Book Review: The Botticelli Secret

secretSteeped in the turmoil of the non-unified Italy of the 1400’s, Marina Fiorato skillfully weaves a detailed and evasive mystery around one of Botticelli’s more famous paintings, Primavera or Allegory of Spring. The painting is packed with meaning alone, but Fiorato takes the painting to an entirely new level in her book, The Botticelli Secret.

Primavera

Painted in 1482, the Primavera was created by Italian Renaissance artist Sandro Botticelli. He was of the Florentine school and worked during the Early Renaissance or Qauttrocento. It is suggested that the allegory had been petitioned by the Medici family.

The work is largely accepted as an allegory of springtime, however, other themes and meanings have been explored, including the idea that the painting illustrates the ideal of Neoplatonic love. For Fiorato, the painting serves as the basis for her art history mystery in her novel.

The Plot

Fiorato opens her novel with the introduction of her heroine- common whore by the name of Luciana Vetra. She is described as a classical beauty, with long flowing ringlets and a sharp tongue from the four years that she spent on the streets of Florence. She is aptly named for how she arrived in Florence. Her origins for much of the novel are unknown, but from the beginning Luciana speaks of her uncommon arrival in the city- as a baby washedup on the shores of the city in a glass bottle.

The reader is quickly drawn to her, despite her abrasiveness and crassness that are abundant in the earlier part of the novel, but softens as she finds herself and finds love during the course of the story. Her flaws make Luciana realistic and easy to relate too, despite the over-the-top mystery and life that she eventually gets swept up in to.

Fiorato’s story of Luciana, Primavera and the mystery that engulfs everything is skillfully rendered and so lush that the reader easily gets immersed in the world of what Italy was like during the early part of the Renaissance. Fiorato leaves nothing to the imagination and stays away from romanticizing the period, leaving the reader with a raw and detailed depiction of what life was like during the time that Botticelli lived and worked.

The Botticell Secret by Marina Fiorato was originally published in April of 2010. It is available for purchase through St. Martin’s Griffin, New York with ISBN 978-0-312-60636-7.

Book Review: The Women

womenMany creative geniuses have a torrid past with the women that loved them. Pablo Picasso and Jackson Pollock are just two examples. However, in T.C. Boyle’s The Women, he focuses on the madness and the passion that engulfed much of famed architect Frank Lloyd Wright’s life.

The Four Women

T.C. Boyle brings to life Frank Lloyd Wright’s life by telling it through the four women who loved him in life. He begins with the failure of Wright’s marriage to his wife, Miriam, an older, passionate southern woman who had a heavily hidden addiction to morphine.

Boyle goes on to infuse the the novel with heat and passion when Wright meets the woman that would take him away from his wife. Exotic and fiery, Olgivanna Milanoff became dubbed the “Dragon Lady” by Lloyd’s apprentices. She lived with him at his famed estate, Taliesan first under the lie that she was his maid, but her pregnancy quickly gave away their affair.

More sweetly, Boyle also recounts Wright’s relationship with his first wife, Kitty Tobin with whom he had had six children with. More idealized and poignant, the passages on this relationship humanize Wright while the other women seem to make him more tortured and lost.

What is most tragic about the novel is the inclusion of Mamah Borthwick Cheney, Wright’s mistress who was tragically murdered at the Taliesan estate in 1914 along with her two children.

Downfall of The Women

As scandalous and impetuous much of the historical basis for the novel is, what is the downfall of Boyle’s novel is the narrator. The story is told from the viewpoint of Frank Lloyd Wright’s Japanese apprentice which just does not fit the novel. Moreover, the over-usage of footnotes to ensure that all information even parts that do not seem to matter take the reader away from the meat of the story. They often are confusing and stuck in places that would be better suited without them. It becomes rather difficult to get through the story in some parts.

All in all, T.C. Boyle does a great job of making The Women seem more of an actual biography than a historical fiction novel. It would have been better served if Boyle had reserved himself with regards to the amount of information he felt necessary to include with the text and with the foot notes.

The Women by T.C. Boyle was first published in 2009 by Viking Publishing with ISBN 978-0-670-02041-6.

Book Review: The Sidewalk Artist

sidewalkA blocked writer, unhappy with her life and relationship takes off for a Parisian vacation. It is there that Tulia Rose encounters beautiful chalk drawings of some of Raphael’s most beautiful and famous creations of cherubs and light. The chalk drawings’ artist Raffaello, intrigues Tulia. She quickly finds herself asking if she loves him? Or is he a stalker? Or could he even be the reincarnation of the Renaissance artist Raphael?

Dreamy Settings

Tulia’s story and eventual love-affair takes her across Europe to lush settings that are both dreamy and romantic. Readers are indulged in sensual Paris, dream-like Tuscany and beautiful Venice as Tulia navigates herself through her budding affair and eventual break-up with her New York boyfriend, Ethan.

The settings are beautifully described and detailed by an author with a keen eye for the intricacies that the romance of Europe offers its visitors. Buonaguro writes, “What truly moves Tulia is not the Eiffel Tower or Notre Dame Cathedral or any of the wonderful sights. It is the little things. A windowsill with a pot of geraniums and a glimpse of lace curtain, the way the sun glances off a puddle, the echo of her heels as she walks down a narrow cobblestone street, the taste of coffee at an outdoor cafe, the sound of children calling out to each other in French,” making it easy for the reader to fall in love with Paris even if they haven’t had a chance to make it there yet.

The Failing Hero

The downfall of The Sidewalk Artist, in my opinion was Raffaello – Buonaguro’s hero. Instead of being the romantic artist that was meant to sweep readers off their feet as they read, I found Raffaello to be more creepy than to be someone with whom I would want to disappear into the European countryside with. I kept waiting for a plot twist wherein the entire story line became something sinister and it was with that thought that kept me from completely falling in love with the story though I did find the idea of the parallel plot and romance to be creative and intriguing.

The Sidewalk Artist makes for a quick read and is great if you’re looking for a sweet story to spend a day at the beach with.

The Sidewalk Artist by Gina Buonaguro and Janice Kirk is available for purchase through St. Martin’s Griffin with ISBN 031237805X. It was released on April 1, 2008.